The Virtuous Wife Series: Day 6: The Harvest Of The Virtuous Woman

Scripture 

"She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes". (Proverbs 31:20-21 NLT)

Be A Blessing

The virtuous woman cared for other people as well. She doesn't have the attitude of "as long as me and mine are good then I don't care about anyone else" 

She helps, when she is able to help. When God blesses her, she knows that is an opportunity to bless others.

Helping doesn't not only mean financially, but help can be given physically, emotionally and spiritually. You can give your time, advice, a listening ear, a hug, or whatever the individual may need. Jesus had a heart of compassion, always loving, healing, teaching and feeding people spiritually and with actual food. This is how we ought to be having a heart for people, not thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought. 

Help Comes In Many Ways

This marriage blog is a way of helping the needy, I am trying to help couples with the things I wish I'd known sooner or the things I learned along the way. I said, that to say you can literally use anything to extend a helping hand. Don't give for a pat on the back, give because you know it pleases God! Don't give reluctantly or under compulsion, give because it is in your heart! Try to be cognizant of others. Be intentional about being a blessing to someone else. 

Scripture

"Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up." (Galatians 6:7-9 NLT)

Harvest Time 

The virtuous woman knows she will reap what she sows. In Proverbs 31:20, when the winter storms come literally and figuratively, she knows her family will still thrive. She knows she has been a blessing to others in their time of need, so God will bless her in her time of need. She doesn't need to worry, because she knows what she planted and knows it will be harvested. She prepared in the previous scriptures by never allowing her hands to be idle, by planning, by getting her business in order, by giving to the needy, by making clothes and knitting late into the night. Now it is time for her to see the fruits of her labor. She knew a storm was coming, but didn't fear. She did what she needed to do and she has full faith in God. She labored all year long knowing the winter was coming, she has nothing to worry about. 

Personal Message

My dad always told me growing up, "if you stay ready, you won't have to get ready". He was teaching me to always be prepared. He'd make us carry a jacket even if it were hot outside, and sometimes I'd have an attitude. But I remember being out late and the jacket coming in handy more often than not. He always told me to carry a small amount of cash. This came in handy, when there would be a hold on my card for whatever reason. It's like health insurance or car insurance. 

Don't Give Up

You may not fully know what you're preparing for or what lies ahead, but your preparation won't be in vain. God said in the Galatians scripture, "Not to get weary in doing good, for you will reap a blessing if you don't give up."  Don't you think that the Proverbs 31 woman was tired. I'm sure she wanted to give up and say you know what this is too much, I am not seeing the fruits of my labor what's the point. Instead of giving up, she gave more. She gave more time, more love, she stayed up later, and she worked harder knowing God keeps his promises. In verse 20 she begins to reap some of the harvest. All this to say, don't give up! You look around at other women doing things against the bible. Looking over there the grass may even appear greener, they look happy and it looks like everything is working out in their favor. But Satan is the master of deception, their grass may be green right now, but it will eventually turn brown. Satan wants you to look over there and give up on trying to do things the right way and adopt some of the negative behaviors. Don't give in, you will reap whatever you planted, good or bad!

Personal Message

I have planted good things in my marriage and I have planted bad things before. I have planted good things and turned to bad things,when I didn't think the good worked as well! I am a testimony as to you reap what you sow. I planted anger, attitude, irritability, name calling, defiance, cursing, and unforgiveness  in my first two years of my marriage and I reaped all that came with it. In the last two years, I've been planting love, patience, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and gentleness and now I am harvesting all the good I have planted. Think about an argument where you started off trying to do be kind and not get angry, but when you see that the other person isn't deescalating quickly enough, you decide if you can't beat them join them. Honestly how do those arguments turn out? So if you take that approach in marriage, how do you think it will turn out? As the new year begins change some of your negative ways and watch what you begin to harvest!

Prayer

God you care for the needy, so I know I am called to care for the needy! Thank you for blessing me and constantly supplying all my wants and needs. God help me to be better and help me to think about what I am planting. Thanks for being not only loving but for being just. As you work on me, God I ask that you make my man into who you want him to be. I love you! 

Amen 

The Virtuous Woman Series: Day 5: A Business Woman

A Business Woman

"She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber." (Proverbs 31:16-19 NLT)

Misconception 

I have read Proverbs 31 many times, but never really read it! For some reason, I must have just rushed past this part, not taking it all in. That is the beautiful thing about the bible, each time you read it, you get something new. This was ground breaking to me when I read it about year ago, because I always thought being a biblical wife meant cook and clean. (Which I really don't mind the cooking, but the cleaning lol Jesus isn't through with me yet lol) 

Many women write off their biblical roles , saying that it is too menial and domestic. Satan has once again made women feel disenchanted about fulfilling their marital duties. Some ladies think "I am not about to be anyones servant and I am too smart to be at home just cleaning and cooking." 

Correcting the Misconception 

Being a Christian in general is about being a servant of Christ. We need to stop buying into the negative picture satan is trying to paint. Jesus himself came to serve. So serving is a high honor. The bible tells us to serve each other. The husband serves the wife and the wife serves the husband. The husband doesn't necessarily serve the same way the wife does and vice versa. In the above scripture it shows how a virtuous woman can serve by being a smart and savvy business woman. A woman doesn't have to feel like she needs to only stay at home while her husband makes all the financial moves. 

Well Rounded

This woman bought property with her own "earnings"and used it to make more money. She first went to inspect the field, so she was knowledgable and knew what to look for. She wasn't going to make a hasty unwise decision. She is intentional on doing the research to make sure her investments are lucrative. That means she didn't just wake up and say I'm gonna go invest in something. She planned, she researched, she became informed and made a well thought out decision. On one of the previous lessons the scripture said "her husband has full confidence in her" this is a reason why her husband can trust her. He knows she is methodical and will take care of business. He knows she will make a profit and add to the household and He knows who she serves. 

This woman is phenomenal, because after all that she stays up late tying up loose ends. She is a true business woman, she buys property, grows a vineyard, later in Proverbs 31:22a,24 she makes sashes, bed spreads, and other clothing items to sell. She isn't playing about her money. She knows how to make it and keep it.

Don't buy into the trick that Christ Like Women can't do anything. Women have free will, just like men, but everything should be done to the glory of God. You might not necessarily buy property, but whatever you decide to do make sure you are knowledgeable and you take the time to do the research. Make sure your dealings are lucrative.

Personal Message

I have always been good with money. I don't invest (yet), but I do love to save money. I am always looking for a deal or a coupon. I enjoy working and I enjoy staying home, really I don't mind either. But wherever I'm at, I try to be faithful with the small things now, and I know God will trust me with the big things later. 

Strengthened by Christ

A virtuous woman is strong mentally, physically, and spiritually. She knows her strength comes from Christ, and in her own strength it is impossible. Philipians 4:13 

Mentally Strong 

She is mentally strong from taking every thought captive 2 Corinthians 10:5 . She knows that negative thoughts give birth to negative actions. 

Spiritually Strong

She is spiritually strong by reading God's word and being in prayer. She understands that is God's communication with us and prayer is our communication with him. 

Physically Strong 

She is physically strong, because she  takes proper care of herself and knows when she needs to take a step back to prevent a burn out. She wants to make sure she has enough energy for her husband and family. She purposely takes time for herself to relax and renew.  (I personally renew by cooking, or reading. When I'm extremely burnt out I listen to worship music and meditate on a scripture all day)

Prayer

God, 

Today and everyday I want to trust you to guide and direct me. Help me not to make plans without including you. Help me to remember where my strength can be renewed when I begin to feel burnt out. Help me to be better steward over my finances and add value financially to my family. 

Amen

Virtuous Wife Series: Day 4: Woman With A Plan

"She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar." (Proverbs 31:13-14 NLT)

Thrifty Woman

This scripture shows us that a virtuous woman is thrifty. She is resourceful. She does what is necessary for her family's well being. A virtuous wife is determined to make sure her family is well taken care of. A merchant ships purpose is to bring goods for OTHERS. Comparing a virtuous woman to a merchant ship signifies that the she is unselfish and sacrificial. She cares for and loves her family and will do what she needs to  to keep her family afloat. Does your families needs come before your own? 

"She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. "(Proverbs 31:15 NLT)

Selfless Woman

The virtuous woman does not sleep all day, when she knows she has business to handle. Even early in the morning, she is selfless enough to prepare breakfast for her family. When she has other things to do or had other things she could do, she is still concerned with her family. This scripture is so interesting to me. My mom told me that my great grandma had 13 kids, but would get up at 4 am in the morning and doc my great grandfather a hot breakfast before he went to work every single day. Now that is love. Lol because our human nature wants to be like oh heck no, I run around after our 13 kids all day and now I have to get up and slave over a stove half sleep to fix you breakfast. I didn't know my great grandma, but I'm convinced she was a virtuous woman. She sacrificed her sleep, and probably her feelings to get up in the morning to please her husband. She was willing to sacrifice something for his happiness. I'm sure her husband loved her and respected her for getting up every morning to do a selfless act. What do you sacrifice for your husband? Is it Sleep like my great grandma, missing your show to watch the game with him, your pride bc you know "winning" this argument may deflate him? 

Personal Message

Marriage is about pleasing the other person and sacrificing for them. You should be more concerned about giving more than you are taking from your marriage. Honestly, if you're not willing to sacrifice anything, then you shouldn't get married. Jesus literally sacrificed his life for his bride (the church). We should always look to Jesus as our perfect example. 

Industrious Woman

This scripture also shows us that a virtuous woman isn't lazy!  She knows that too much sleep leads to poverty. Get up and handle your business. Stop putting it off until tomorrow, because you never know what tomorrow may hold. 

"But you, lazybones, how long will you sleep? When will you wake up? A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— then poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber." (Proverbs 6:9-11 NLT)

Before we were Christians, my dad made all my siblings and I wake up at 6am everyday. It didn't matter if it was the summer or a weekend. I didn't appreciate it then lol. But, I literally carried that into my adult years. The bible associates sleeping all day with laziness, just as my dad did. Up until recently, I still did not sleep past 8am. But now I work graveyard so it's different. The bible gives us direction on everything. You can choose to ignore it and sleep all day,everyday. But you can't be surprised if you don't see yourself beginning to progress, or find yourself in poverty.

"Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty." (Proverbs 21:5 NLT)

Woman with Foresight

She woke up with a plan. She is not just wandering aimlessly through life. She doesn't just lunge into action without thinking and without a plan. She is analytical and weighs her options. The virtuous woman isn't into shortcuts, but instead is into good planning. She knows that all her plans will fail if she doesn't commit them to the Lord. The virtuous woman knows what leads to poverty and avoids those things. She wants what best for her family spiritually, mentally, physically, and even financially. She doesn't just have the desire, she takes the appropriate steps to make her desires a reality. 

Change

If you know you sleep too much, purposely cut your sleep time short and do something that you've been procrastinating on (homework, cleaning, paying bills, whatever). Pray everyday and ask God to direct your day. 

Prayer

God, Please forgive me for being lazy at times. I pray you also forgive me for not including you in my plans at times. God I will trust you to direct my path. Help me to think of my family before myself. Thank you for loving me. 

Amen

The Virtuous Wife Series: Day 3: A Woman of Value

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:11-12 NIV) 

Beneficial

The husband of a virtuous woman trust her 100%. He feels like he isn't missing anything that will benefit him. She greatly enriches his life. His wife benefits him spiritually, emotionally, and physically. She isn't a burden and he knows he wouldn't be better off without her. 

In Genesis 2. God made Eve as a helpmeet to Adam. God saw it was not good for Adam to be alone. Basically, the brother needed help. (Lol) and every woman and man can attest to that. My husband tells me every now and then that if God wouldn't have sent me to him, he doesn't know where he'd be. This tells me two things that he values me and I add value to his life. I add to his life, not only on a grand scale, but on small scale. He confirms this when he sends me a picture of his burnt food while I'm at work and says I can never make it like you.  You want your man to say things like this, so you know you are doing your job right. 

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22 NIV)

How do you enrich your mans life? Or do you badger him and bring him down? Would he be better off without you? Can he say you are a good thing? 

A husband can have confidence in his wife when she enriches his life . He trusts her and her abilities as wife. He isn't insecure and trying to guess what her next move is going to be. He doesn't have to second guess her motives.  

His Welfare 

A good wife is always concerned about the welfare of her husband. She approaches him in love, even in difficult situations. She treats him the way God wants him to be treated. Even when she feels he deserves evil, she is still good to him. A good wife doesn't hurt her husband, instead she loves him, encourages him, builds him and doesn't break him down. 

A Woman's Influence

A woman has a lot of influence over her man.  Think of Adam and Eve and how eve convinced her husband to partake in the fruit with her. She has the ability to make him or break him. He values her opinion over anyone else's. He needs his ego stroked and wants to feel needed and important. When you talk down to him and undermine his authority, then you are essentially deflating him. When you are angry it is much easier to go to your fleshly desires, sin, seek revenge, and go tit for tat. But as a new creature in Christ, your new default should be to love. 

"Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires."(Romans 13:14 NLT) 

Stop playing your evil responses in your head. Stop wallowing in how he upset you and how you really want to get him back. Doing these things will only cause you to act out on your desires. It's way easier said than done. But you have a choice and God says, 

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." (1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT)

 

Personal Message

Every Time you choose to sin, you are choosing Satan. You are letting Satan get the victory over your relationship. He is on a mission to tear you apart, one argument at a time. He wants you to keep undermining your husband. He wants you to seek revenge when your husband upsets you. He wants you to go to bed angry and not talking, so your mind and his mind can wander. It is bigger than us. But God has equipped us with the tools to overcome. Our assignment is to  Think before we act! Ask ourselves is this helpful? Is it necessary to say? Is it kind to say? And if it doesn't fit the criteria then throw it out! 

Pray this today!

God, I pray that you convict me when I'm out of line. Help me to be a good wife, always bringing my husband good and not harm. God continue you to guide me where you want me to be. As you transform me, I ask that you transform my husband into who you want him to be!

Amen

The Virtuous Wife Series: Day 2: Pursuing Virtue

Theme Scripture 

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭31‬:‭10‬ NLT)

Define

What is a Virtuous Woman?

A virtuous woman is a good woman who pursues high moral integrity, who has honor, righteousness, and strength. 

A woman like this is invaluable. She can't be priced. She is more precious than precious jewels.  

Who are you? 

What kind of woman are you? Can your husband/bf/family say that you are precious and worth more than rubies? Are you cheap and easy to find/have? Have you made yourself so available that anyone can have you?  Do you have a mean attitude or are you bratty? Are you a girl that people call different or Do you blend in with the world? God calls all Christians to be set apart and sanctified! He does not want us to blend in and look like the rest of the women in the world. 

"But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. " (‭1 Peter‬ ‭2‬:‭9‬ NLT)

 

What are you doing to be set apart and become virtuous?  

The most important thing is daily reading and prayer. Apart from Christ it is impossible to become a virtuous woman.  Secondly constantly denying your flesh until you have a new default. What is your default when someone angers you or down thing doesn't go your way?  Is it Ignoring them, cussing them out, "telling them off"?  We need to understand their is nothing good and sweet about the flesh. You may feel good for an instant acting in the flesh, but it will catch up with you eventually. If you plant evil, 

mean, and corrupt then, you will sow evil, mean, and corrupt. So plant the things produced by the Holy Spirit.

"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives." (‭Galatians‬ ‭5‬:‭22-25‬ NLT)

 What does virtue look like?

A virtuous woman is ruled by the spirit and not the flesh. She doesn't just walk around doing as she pleases. She chases goodness and virtue. She dies to herself daily and replaces her flesh with the spirit. A virtuous woman fights against her evil desires constantly. She seeks God in all aspects. When she feels hate, instead she loves. She has joy, despite her circumstances. She has inexplicable peace. She is kind, when others are mean. She is gentle, realizing that men have feelings and also need tender loving care. She is good, even when no one is watching, and always aware that God is watching! 

 Ask yourself What God would say to you when you are dealing with your spouse/bf/anyone? Would he smile and say, she is walking in the spirit. Or would he look away from you in disappointment.  

She is faithful to God 1st and committed to her family. A virtuous woman does not easily lose her temper and displays self control. She is patient in misfortune and annoyance. She knows that this sounds impossible, but that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her!

Personal Message

Becoming a virtuous woman is a process. It doesn't just happen overnight. Just because, I am writing this does not mean I have it all together. Let me be the first to tell you I really don't. I am just a messenger and a lot of the time the messages are for me.  Being virtuous is a choice. Everyday you have a choice on how you are going to react. God's way or the highway? It's up to you! Will you fight with me to gain control over the flesh and allow the spirit to rule!  This week and forever work on replacing behaviors and feelings hate with love, discontentment with peace, irritation with patience, anger with kindness and self control, harshness with gentleness, cruelty with goodness. Show the fruits of the spirit despite what others do! 

 

Prayer 

God thank you for giving me the answers to all my questions in your word.  Thanks for giving me guidelines on how to be successful in life and in marriage. I pray for your conviction when I am not being a virtuous woman. Help me to keep my eyes on you and not what others are doing. I love you. Amen 

The Virtuous Wife Series: In Depth Study: Day 1

Introduction 

The bible is the guide to being a good wife. I firmly believe that every woman who feels uneasy about the biblical teachings on being a wife, lacks a good understanding of the teachings and has not read in depth about being a wife. The bible literally gives men and women a guide to having a perfect marriage, but we make it hard by not applying the principles. A man at my church says, "Every argument between a husband and wife comes from one or both of them not being in line with what God says in his word!"

Ephesians 5

"22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[a] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church."

Submit

Today, I am going to start with the controversy. Submit, which evokes thoughts of the 50's, a door mat, or even a backless woman.  The definition of submit is to accept or yield to the authority or will of another person. Submission is a choice, it is honorable, pleasing, and rewarding. Some people look at submission as weak, but it actually takes more strength to submit, than to do as you please all of the time. Submission is a choice, because no one is forcing you. You have free will, so God isn't going to force you to submit, and your husband can't force you. Submitting doesn't mean you don't have an opinion. A good biblical loving husband cares about your opinion and wants to please you. He should always consider what you have to say, but in the end go where God is leading him. The submission comes in when he disagrees with you and does the opposite of what you feel is correct.  How will you respond? Will you ignore him, will you chastise him, when he's wrong will you say I told you so, will you be sarcastic, will you be mean, will you go and gossip to all your friends or will you say okay babe, if that's where God is leading you, then I am with you 100%?

But Why?

Why Submit, when you can probably do everything better?  ;) lol 

The first reason is, because it pleases God. Secondly, your marriage will flourish. Thirdly God established a proper order of things for our own good. God created man and woman, don't you think he knows what we need to have success in all aspects of life. It is supposed to be man getting his direction by submitting to God, and woman submitting to God and because, she is submitting to God, she submits to her husband.  Submission is so much bigger than obedience to your husband, it is really obedience to God. By submitting to your husband , you are saying I am placing my faith in you God, and my obedience to you will bless my life and our marriage. God has given us the recipe to a good marriage. He knows his creations. Men thrive on respect, and feeling needed. Woman thrive on love, and feeling desired. It just shows how God really knows us, because He commanded each spouse to do what the other needs. Submission doesn't feel good, when your husband isn't under the leadership of God. That is why it is vital to choose a man who is in tune with God before you get married. Don't marry a man, you don't see yourself submitting to. Doing so, will only cause problems in the future. Your husband under the leadership of God, will have your best interest at heart, nothing he asks you to do is against the bible, and if it all goes wrong (lol), he will be held accountable. (poor Adam). Will you trust God to lead your husband today? Will you trust that God knows you and your husband better than you do? God has your best interest in mind, he wants your marriage to bring more people to him. By butting heads with your husband and undermining his authority, you need to understand you are really disobeying God.

Kill, Steal, Destroy

The devil is succeeding, because the divorce rate is high, even among Christians. Satan wants you to believe that submission is for the weak minded and it is old fashioned. He is distracting you from your purpose of pleasing God, and bringing people to him. God has made it, so you can have a joyous and happy marriage, but Satan has come to steal, kill, and destroy. Don't let Satan take your marriage by not following the most important guideline to a fruitful marriage. Obedience to God will lead to success in all aspects of your life.  

Isaiah 48:17-18Good News Translation (GNT)

17 

The holy God of Israel,

    the Lord who saves you, says:

“I am the Lord your God,

    the one who wants to teach you for your own good

    and direct you in the way you should go.

18 

“If only you had listened to my commands!

Then blessings would have flowed for you

    like a stream that never goes dry.

Victory would have come to you

    like the waves that roll on the shore.

Personal Message

This post is not just for you, but also for me. Submission is hard, especially when you feel like you know it all (lol) or you have operated a certain way for so long. I refuse to let Satan win in my marriage. Living your way has only gotten you so far. Will you try it God's way  with me?

Pray this with me.  God, I am ready to fully submit to you and in turn submit to my (future/present) husband. Give me the strength to take every though captive, so I can defend myself against the ploys of the devil. I pray that as you change me through this series, you work on my husband as well. Make us into the people you want us to be, so that we can be a light in this dark world.

NEW Blog Site

Our last blog site therealshapeoflove.blogspot.com locked me out. I have the same 3 passwords for everything and not a single one works to get me in. I apparently never set up a recovery email or phone number,  probably because I have never forgot my passwords. Basically, I don't know what happened. Now we are starting over brand new with LoveDeeplyRooted.blogspot.com. Welcome! I hope something here can help your marriage.