The Virtuous Wife Series: Day 9: Influence of a Woman

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." (Proverbs 31:25 NLT)

Define:

Clothed means to wear and to be covered with. In this scripture the virtuous woman is covered with strength and dignity. This means she carries it with her everywhere, in good and bad times, in adversity and when things are easy. 

Strength

The virtuous woman realizes what strength is. She knows that strength is not being the big bad wolf, who isn't going to take anything from anyone. Strength isn't over talking your dude and knowing how to shut him down. Strength is about self control. Strength is about controlling your tongue. Strength is about knowing what to say and how to say it (even when he needs some serious correction). Strength is about knowing when to be quiet and when to speak your mind. Strength is knowing the influence you have over your husband and using it properly. The virtuous woman is not a door mat, but she knows how to gracefully and lovingly assert herself. 

Personal

I can't lie sometimes I fall into the worlds idea of strength! I have come to realize that worldly strength, isn't strength at all. I mean honestly, how easy is it to run your mouth and shut someone down as opposed to being quiet or saying something with the proper attitude. It's much easier to mouth off to my husband, when I'm angry or irritated, than to be respectful. But greater is He that is in us than He that is in the world. So it is more than possible to do the right thing! 

Influence of a Woman

We as women sometimes don't realize the influence we have over the man in our life. You can choose to positively influence him or negatively influence him. You have the power to build him up, encourage transformation in his life, and affect the atmosphere in your home. Or you can break him down, encourage him in bad decision making, and make your home a hostile environment.  One of the wife's most important roles is to help her husband. She's not supposed to roll a blunt with him, encourage him to cheat to get ahead, or anything else that is anti God. 

Personal

My husband always tells other men, when a woman inspires you, that's when you know she's the one! Are you an inspiration or a discouragement? What are you motivating and sparking in your husband? I saw how creative and artistic my husband was and I encouraged my him to start performing his poetry. 

Biblical Examples

In the bible we have examples of positive influences as well as negative influences 

Eve was created for Adam to be his wife,to help him and to provide companionship. She had so much influence over her husband, that she sinned by eating the fruit and then convinced her husband that he should also indulge in sin. Eve's influence over her husband literally caused the fall of man. Like think about it, today one of the reasons we have disease, death, and destruction, is bc of a Eve's influence 

Queen Esther on the other hand, positively influenced her husband to save  the Jewish people from the potential holocaust at the hands of the Persian empire. Queen Esther exhibited strength, by knowing what to do to sway her husband and by trusting God to keep her and protect her in the process. 

Dignity 

Dignity is a quality meaning worthy of honor and respect. Worthy means deserving. The virtuous woman is deserving of honor and respect. She  not only wears strength, but she wears dignity as well. This means she carries herself in a such a way  that people respect her and honor her. She isn't out at all the functions getting turnt up. She isn't half naked posting pictures on Instagram trying to get likes. She isn't loud and boisterous craving attention wherever she goes. She doesn't need to demand or beg for respect. She carries herself in such a way that people naturally respect and honor her.  What kind of people do you attract? How do men treat you? How are you carrying yourself? 

She Laughs

The virtuous woman isn't afraid of the future. She knows God will provide for her every need and take excellent care of her and her family. She knows no matter what she faces (death, sickness, rebellion, etc), that God will strengthen her and bring her through. This is why she is able to still laugh and smile when everything is crumbling around her. 

The Virtuous Wife Series: Day 8: Happy Home

"Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders." (Proverbs 31:23 NLT)

A Godly Man 

The virtuous woman is a wonderful  woman and it is only fitting that she be married to a great man. The above scripture highlights that the virtuous woman has standards and expectations of the man she married. Her husband has qualities of a Godly man. The fact that he is well known means he is respected and has a good name.

 "And God says, "Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold." (Proverbs 22:1 NLT)

The second part of the scripture says that he "sits" with the leaders. Sits implies that he knows, spends time with, works with. To be able to sit with civic leaders, her husband has to be worthy, he can't be lazy, but instead has to work hard. The virtuous woman ensured that her husband had certain qualities before she married him. The important qualities are that he loves God more than her. He is capable of sacrificially

loving her and putting her second only to God. He isn't lazy and understands his role of protect, provide, and lead! 

Now this isn't saying your husband/ future husband is perfect! It is saying that he is always striving to be better. Your man may not be where he should be yet (financially, spiritually, physically) but the important thing is he has ambition and is trying to improve. He should not be the same person and in the same position as 3 years ago. Don't discount a man, because he doesn't have a million dollars. He may have a millionaire vision and will get there eventually! So be patient, but don't be naive his actions do need to line up with his words and his vision. If he's sitting on the couch unemployed talking about he's going to be a millionaire one day, then run lol. But if he is making moves, working hard, following through, and always acquirring more knowledge then he can make it there one day.  

Personal Message

Honestly when I was 19 and got married, my only standards were that he has to go to church with me and he has to love me. I was naive and didn't know what to really look for. But I was wise enough to pray. Before I met Keonte, I prayed God would send me a sweet, loving, kind man that would treat me well. When Keonte and I started dating up until today I have prayed the same prayer "God please make Keonte into the man you want him to be!" And it's amazing how I didn't know what I needed, but God did! He answered and still answers my prayers! My husband is not the same person he was at 17, 19, 21 and God continually reforms him, making Keonte better each and everyday! 

A Happy Home

The fact that her husband is so successful at work, is indicative of a happy home life. He can go to work with a clear mind knowing everything at home is taken care of. His wife knows how to alleviate stress, so he is not under so much pressure. She doesn't tear him down at home. She builds him up at home so he can function properly at work.  A chaotic home wears and tears on any person.  Home is the basis for success, when the world tears you down, home is where you go to be built back up. You as a woman must decide each day if you will be a hinderance or an encouragement. 

Personal Message

My husband has told me when we get into a serious argument, it throws off his whole day. He isn't able to focus and be as productive as usual. His mind wanders back to the unresolved conflict and the atmosphere he will be walking back into when he comes home. So as a wife it is my job, to ensure that I submit to his leadership and let him know that just because of an argument my love for him won't change. I need to remember the fruits of the spirit and be in constant prayer when a difficulty arises.  

Prayer

Lord, thank you for the wisdom you give us through your word. Help me to use your word as a standard for my everyday living and interactions. God I want to be intentional in doing the right thing. Thank you for your love and your mercy. Amen

The Virtuous Wife Series: Day 7: Dress To Impress

"She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns." (Proverbs 31:22b NLT)

Misconception 

Sometimes people look at the scripture in 1 Peter 3 and automatically assume that a biblical wife has to look plain, worn, and boring. But what the scripture is saying is that a woman needs to be more than physical appearance. If that's all you have to offer then you really have nothing to offer, because outward beauty fades. Internal beauty lasts forever. 

"Your adornment must not be merely external-braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:3-4 NASB)

Inner Beauty Wins

The virtuous woman knows that the inner appearance is more important than the outward appearance, because how her heart looks is precious to God!  Beauty can give you immediate results, like a free meal, a baby, a job, a man for a night! But at the end of the day beauty doesn't raise any kids, beauty doesn't satisfy a man long term,  beauty doesn't keep the job, beauty can't do anything of lasting value, and most importantly beauty can't get you into heaven.

 "But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7 NLT) 

 

Side Note:

Ladies stop going after men that have no sustenance! They may be tall, dark, and handsome, but have nothing going on the inside. You are trying to accept him and God has rejected him. 

Dress To Impress 

Now with all that being said, there is nothing wrong with being beautiful and dressing nicely! As a matter of fact it is encouraged, as long as that's not all you have to offer. The virtuous woman dresses classy. She wears the nice, high quality, and even popular clothing. She takes a pride in looking good for her husband. She isn't going out the house with rollers on pajamas and house shoes. She doesn't look like who did it and nobody cares.

The scripture says,  "she wears FINE linen." (Lol fine linen ain't cheap). Fine linen is a luxury. Purple was a color that only certain people could afford! Let's face it she's high fashion! All that hard work she's putting in and all the money she's making in the previous scriptures, allows her to be able to afford nice clothes.  (SEE DAYS 4&5) And there is nothing wrong with it. She stays up late, wakes up early handling her business, and she likes to treat herself. Don't feel like you have to live a meager lifestyle (this is no where in the bible), but keep things in perspective.  She works hard, she gives to the needy, and she keeps God first. God has blessed her and she is a blessing to everyone she comes in contact with, so she doesn't need to feel guilty for splurging. She can confidently dress to impress with a gorgeous personality to match! 

Personal Message:

I used to struggle with feeling guilty for buying myself anything, even as a child! I would save up money for no reason. With my first $50 at 8 years old, I bought an amazing ally doll that I really wanted, but then I took it back to toys r us and got my money back. Sometimes, I would turn down things that my parents would offer to buy me. I felt that when people are less fortunate than I was, then I should not have things that were too expensive. But the bible doesn't say you can not enjoy nice things. Money is the root of all sorts of evil, not ALL evil. People get greedy, they start idolizing money, they start stepping on people to get more, they hoard it and don't share it with anyone. But when you die, you can't take it with you. Don't put your trust in riches, but instead in God. I loved God and was content, when I was trying to figure out how we were gonna pay our bills, and I love God now that I have finally started my career. The moral is to be content wherever, God has you and don't feel guilty for spending. I don't have to feel guilty, if I've done what God has asked me to do!  In closing Share your money, give to those who are needy, don't close your hands when you see the needy coming. Give as God has given to you! Be thankful for each season and enjoy what God has blessed you with!